You can take the boy out of the shade
by DixieGrayson
Summary: SEQUEL TO MEMOIRS OF A THIEF! It's been years, he thought he'd left it all behind...but there's something big happening, and he needs to be there. He's on the run again, but this time it's for the right reasons. Watch as Richard Grayson steps out of the light...and back into the shade. Rated T for Gore, Violence and swearing. No pairings, no OC's. Cover Image found on Google.
1. faking

I stand outside the mountain, on a perch over the deep sea, looking up to the heavens, salty tears running down my face. The next mission with my team, I will die. Or at least, that is what every-one will think. I don't want to do this to my friends, no, my family, but this is not optional. Something big is going to happen in Gotham, I don't know what and I don't know how long for, but what I do know is millions of people will die if someone doesn't intervene. I want to get to the bottom of the matter, before it gets out of hand. I'm going to have to go in deep. I'm going to have to step out of the light and go back into the shade.

No-one can no. No-one can see. If they had any idea what I was doing they would be ashamed, I would no longer fit in. Then again, if im honest, I am not one of them. I am not a child. My head involuntarily snaps round as the door opens behind me and light engulfs me. It's too bright, so I leave it. "Rob come on buddy, it's cold" I walk over, sticking to the shadows. "it's okay rob, you're only 13, way too young to take care of yourself." Oh poor wally, he has no idea. So child-like and innocent. I'm jealous.

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><p><em>Mission briefing<em>

_Mount Justice_

_15th January_

_20:00pm Local time._

"You are to watch and get information on the drug shipment, no more". This is perfect, Stanicos warehouse district is right next to a cliff. I will need the equipment and supplies ready, but it's possible. "you will depart tomorrow at 23:00pm, team dismissed." And with that the group disperses but Bruce grabs my shoulder and turns me around, our masked eyes meet. "I have a mission of my own, so I will not see you leave. This is a dangerous mission….just don't die, okay?" I nod looking at the floor, tears threatening to once again spill over my bottom eye-lid. "Good night Robin." he leans down, I feel him kiss my forehead and I remember the moment, knowing it may never come again. Without another word he leaves. I don't have long to prepare. I leave for the manor.

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><p><em>Wayne Manor<em>

_Richard's room_

_11:34pm- local time._

I pull out my old rucksack, still covered in my blood. It takes me a while to stop staring, to stop remembering. Taking a deep breath I walk towards the wardrobe, and I break the padlock on the bottom draw. Cautiously I pull it open. There's only four items in the draw: My black hoodie (once it was too big for me, now it should fit perfectly), my knife, my first gun (I never pulled the trigger, it still has its original bullets) and my wallet chain. Still covered in blood from the day. The day I found a home, the day I got a life. I'm going to leave everything I have, to go back to everything I had. I stuff it all (and a pair of black jeans and converse) in my bag and pick up the final item, teddy. I'm running out of time, so I leave to set up.

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><p><em>Stanico city<em>  
><em>Beach-side out-skirts<em>  
><em>The next day<em>  
><em>00:00<em>

The fight is going Badly, this is perfect. The cold rain batters upon my Kevlar as I fight alongside my team. I know what's going to happen. I can't pull this off until someone attacks me properly! Then I see him, a huge obnoxious man with bulging muscle and sweat dripping from him like the rain falling from above. He pulls out a machine gun, this is perfect! Rapidly he fires and I dodge every bullet fired, until one hits me. It ricochets off my bullet proof vest but everyone's to far away to see, they think it hit. "Robin!" Wally's voice is laced with fear like my own is laced with regret, I start running, pretending the bullets are to strong. I stop at the cliff edge. If this goes wrong I will die, no ones there to catch me this time. "Robin what are you doing?" What I have to. "Wally I'm going to have to jump" what I need to. "I'm going to fall. What I was born to do. "Tell batman I said thank you." I stare down into the liquid abyss below, where waves crash against the rocks. "I'm sorry" then I jump. In the distance I hear my name being screamed like whispers in the wind. I pull out my bat-line, swinging into a whole I blew into the cliff side earlier. I land in the cave I pull the line in and do the final step. I had placed my back-pack in the mini-cave earlier. I yank a knife out of the sack and take the final step, I cut of my arm from the elbow down. My lip bleeds where I bite it, just to not cry out in anguish. They won't need a body now. Then I throw it into the waters below me "ROBIN!" I'm sorry "he can't be dead" I'm sorry. "Why?" I'm sorry "h-he was my baby brother" I can't listen anymore. I pull my hoodie and clothing out of my bag, I get changed, but I don't put my hoodie on. Grabbing my cape I rip it, then I tie it around my now stumped arm, it stops the blood flow and it numbs the pain. Then I tie up one sleeve of my hoodie using a hand and my teeth. I slip around me and do the zip up. Then i attach the wallet chain, fully becoming him. I will have to wait here till they're gone. It's a long wait so I sit there and I cry. I was never a hero, I was always a villain. I was always a fake. I was always a shade.

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><p><strong>AN: here it is! I hope you like it, I was going to wait longer but I just couldn't. Okay, now so here's the bit everyone does! For this chapter I am asking...begging for 10 reviews. The more reviews I get, the faster I update so please REVIEW!**

**DixieGrayson xx**


	2. Mourning

_16th January 2013_

I crawl out of my 'cave' in the early hours of the morning...after my arm had been found. Once on top of the cliff I throw my uniform into the sea below. What I see on the grass beneath my feat shocks me. Burnt into the grass is the sign of the cross. Crouching down, I touch it. They think i'm dead. It worked.

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><p><em>Gotham City<em>

_The doorway of a store_

_17th January 2013_

_08:00am_

I awake to the sound of birds chirping...bull shit, I awaken to the sound of engines revving and horns honking. I awaken to the sound of Gotham. This is the same doorway I slept in all those years ago. Unfortunately for me Bobs Buns went out of business the day I got adopted. No breakfast for me then. I don't really need it anyway. I stand up and stretch, feeling every bone click into place one by one. I've got to go visit an old friend...and hopefully get my arm sorted before it gets infected. I pick up my rucksack and pull it onto my shoulders...shoulder. that's going to take some getting used to.

Then I see it, a black limo, driving through the streets of Gotham. Members of the public, old and young, all wearing back and steadily walking behind the car. I into the shadow behind me, back pressed flush against the wall. I wonder what's happening?

I duck into the crowd, yanking my hood up, casting a shade over my face. Covering the tell tale scars, mapping out my life. The group slowly trudges forward, all in silence. It's like the whole city is being mind-controlled...or they're in mourning. I stare up at the Gotham cemetery gates. The sleek black car slowly grinds to a halt. it can't be. Not all of this...not for me. "Thank you people of Gotham for coming out on a cold rainy day like this, he would have been, in his words, whelmed". They're all here, my whole second family. Even Roy. Oh god! I place my head in my hands. Why are they doing this? "he was a brave soldier, and the best baby brother anyone could have asked for". Oh Wally. "Robin will never be forgotten" Auntie Diana. ""Good-bye...son". I can't take it. I sprint through the crowd, tears welling up in my eyes and over spilling onto my face. The rain and my tears gather in pools at the bottom of my jaw.

I run into something. head-buying it by accident. "watch it kid- Shade?" I look up, my eyes meeting those of my first friend in the criminal underworld. Sports master. "Zucco said you died...5 years ago"

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><p><strong>I'm sorry its short, it looked so much longer on my note pad. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, faved, followed or simply read. <strong>15 reviews is my aim for this chapter,** come on I know you guys can do it. Thanks again**

**DixieG xx**

**P.s this is the disclaimer for every chapter: I do not own young justice, and never will.**


	3. Telling

_Memories_

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><p>"God kid, you look like shit". A bitter laugh escapes my cracked, dry lips. "well there's an informed opinion". Out of the corner of my eye I see him lift up his mask. "Zucco showed us your blood! Where have you been?" Slowly I sit on the curb, feeling the cold water soak through my jeans, but I don't care. "I've been travelling, been seeing the world." I feel his hand connect with my pale cheek. The bruise is like the remnants of coal, a dark patch marring my skin. My head snaps sharply to the side on contact. "Okay, I deserved that." He grabs my hair, yanking my head backwards. "Five years shade, five fucking years!" his voice crescendos into a shout, hand tightening on my ebony strands with every word he spits out. "Your being awfully caring for someone who disowned his own children." With that he shoves my head forwards. "Being a dads different to being a big cousin…or even brother shade" Oh there it is the brother card. "Been a long time since you called me that." A minute of awkward silence passes. The tension in the air is so thick you could almost touch it. "Where are you staying, you'll get ill on the street." I shrug my shoulders, becoming painfully aware about my missing limb. "I d'no, where ever a job comes up." He sighs. "come with me, but I swear to god if you tell anyone about this, I will hang you out on a pylon by your god-damned spleen." A small smile graces my lips. "Right, 'cause that's reassuring"<p>

As we walk and talk I begin to become painfully aware of just how easily I have once again become a shade. The realisation turns into guilt, swelling up in my heart. I know that like a full balloon, only one more pump of guilt and it will burst…or in my case I'll break down. Why did I ever pretend to be a good little boy? I've always been a cocky little thief. I close my eyes and can picture Bruce looking at me smiling with pride. "you're doing really great Dickie" I reach my arms up and he picks me up, resting me gently on his hip. "Every day you manage an extra step, the stronger your legs get and then you'll be walking in no time at all." He was right of course, six months later I was flipping around again like the little acrobat I was. "How do you know that daddy?" He grins running a hand through my bangs "Because you're a good boy Dickie, and good things happen to good boys." I s'pose following that logic bad things happened to bad boys…and I'm as bad as you get. The only child who is technically a member of the injustice league…yeah I'm glad the team never found out about that one.

We finally get to our destination. I always knew I would end up here. "arkham?" the swirling clouds above the hell hole makes it seem even more ominous than before. "I swear we avoid this place like the plague?" Sports-masters eyes glint behind the mask, taking on a snake like appearance. "That's what I said , IVY OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR." Vines sprout out from the floor knocking me off balance. I put my hands out to stop myself falling, forgetting the obvious. A Thorn gouges into my stump, piercing the flesh like a butchers hook would a pigs carcass. Pain shoots throughout my body, each nerve burns as if the tips were being soaked in acid. My pain thresh-hold is overwhelmed, my body can't take it so it shuts down. Engulfing me into darkness.

Slowly I blink my eyes open, a searing pain spreading throughout my arm like a fire in a dry forest…wait, arm? I raise my stump only to see a metal contraption, hooked to the end of my now closed wound. I stare and move it, I look like fucking terminator! "liking firefly's handy work?" I stretch my hand, an evil smirk adorning my features. "What's the caper? Your lot wouldn't fix me up if I wasn't needed." Lawrence is about to answer when a shrill voice cuts him off. "Puddin' your awake!" I feel my jaw drop. "I repeat, what am I doing here?" Then I hear it. "It's simple shadow kid." No. "There's going to be a war." Not him. "You are the baby of the old injustice league, become the son of the new one." His drawn white features come into view. His twisted laugh resonating throughout the cavern under the island. "You've been drafted!

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><p><strong>AN: Umm to chapter 2s reviewer I always appreciate reviews but what was with the nerd knowledge spam? Anyway, sorry it was so short, when I wrote it on paper it took 4 pages. please review! They are very, very appreciated! Thank you.**

**Dixie G**


	4. Trapping

_1st September 2013_

_21:15pm_

_Arkham Asylum_

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to shade, Happy Birthday to you" I Smile as every shit faced crook in Gotham crowds around me. But hey it's where I belong. "Happy Birthday Kid" Lawrence ruffles my onyx mop of hair. They all pass me presents, not wrapped but gifts none the less. I laugh as I pull out a couple of joke presents like rubber guns. Sportsmaster passes me a black box, I rip the lid off and my eyes gleam. Laying there, coiled like a deadly snake is a new wallet chain. It's brilliant. I launch myself into a hug with him. Just 'cause I know it makes him feel awkward. What can I say, you learn a lot in that time. I hear a slow clapping behind me in the darkness, I still get scared when he does that. "Happy Birthday sonny" The joker steps out into the light. "As a present I thought you might want in on a bit of field action" I nod my head rapidly. They haven't let me fight yet, I'm always sat back at the asylum hacking. "Well then here's your main present from your Daddy J" That's weird when did the daddy happen, it's always been Uncle J. He pulls out a gleaming knife. It's beautiful. Slowly I reach out to touch it. "This isn't your present kiddo! This is!" He grabs the handle and before I can blink he has the back of my neck in a grip. He lays the knife on my skin, pressing down until crimson blood oozes from my pale skin. He drags the knife along. It crawls so slowly, yet carefully. I dare not scream. No one does. He throws me to the floor and spits on me. Yanking my hair up he whispers in my ear. "Now you know why I said Daddy J". With that he drops me. When he's gone the others rush forwards, Lawrence gently tilts my face back. They recoil with horror. Then I see it. In his belt Buckle…I know how he got his scars.

They will stay with me, but No one but the other criminals will ever see them. I depart tomorrow anyway, I've got to scour the world with sports to find the best weapons. I won't be coming home until I'm 16 - they will have forgotten me by then. Hopefully…

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><p><em>2nd October 2015<em>

_21:15pm_

_Gotham City_

_"There's no activity here"_ "Rodger I'll keep you posted if I see something". Hello, hello, hello, I'd recognise that voice anywhere…admittedly it's more mature. He must be 18 now. I mean I haven't been in Gotham for what two years. I stay behind the wall so I can listen to the conversation for more evidence. "How are you coping mate" "Honest answer Roy…I'm not. I've been to the grave. I-It's Just he was so y-young" Grave? Oh Shit yeah, I died didn't I…well I say died…. _"I feel the same Wally, look don't cry now, tonight we'll go back to mine, I'll put Lian to sleep and we can hang yeah?"_ "Yeah thanks man" who the hell's 'Lian'? I watch as a tall, muscled ginger figure walks towards me. He's in a modern version of Wally's KF uniform, the stealth mode. It's him. I lay flat against the shadowed wall, hood over my face. I'm not all that proud of my appearance, the smile is still etched there. It reminds me of who I was - It reminds me of Richard Grayson. A kid that died when he was 13.

As my arm presses against the wall it makes a loud creaking noise. I knew I should have oiled it, It's still the same old piece of metal so it's bound to play up a bit. Wally's head snaps towards me. He can't see me…at least I hope he can't. "I'VE GOT HIM" Heat vision goggles, riiiggghhhtttt. "Evening hero!" I begin to run towards the edge of the building getting ready to jump. Then Lights slam on around me. Shit- this can't be happening! I look around wildly but there's no help in sight. I have two options: Jump and fall, or get caught and have the joker beat the shit out of me ….or worse. I've made my decision I look at the hero's beginning to corner me. It was a trap. That's why Wally didn't run after me. The wind whips through my hair, This time I don't cry. I stand on the ledge. Anything's better that dealing with the Joker.

It's just like my first night as Robin…I know how this situation will end. The harsh light beats down on me. This time I'm the criminal...Guess it's time to stop living.

I jump.

I fall.

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry it's been so long! So many exams! Please review! No flames please! Thanks to all my reviewers/favers/followers! Do you think maybe we could reach 15, come on guys I know you can do this :) **

**Thanks again :) Please review**

**Dixie G**


	5. Discovering

"What's your name?" I watch as my old best friend slams a hand on the cold steel interview table in front of me. That same old 8-year-old smirk appears on my face, I feel like a kid again. "Better question Flash Boy, how's robin?" Wally grits his teeth, then punches me. He grunts as my head snaps to the side. My lips obviously split, I can feel the gap slowly getting bigger, crimson slowly oozing out, moist on my chin. "You're Lucky M'gann wouldn't let someone die - I wish I'd left you to rot." I let a laugh escape my bleeding lips. It's not my old cackle, it's deep and sinister. Almost as if the devil was laughing himself. "You used to be a happy hero, what happened? Did daddy hit you to hard?" He snaps. A cold hand wraps around my neck, slamming my body into the cruel metal wall behind me. "Who the hell do you think you are?" Richard would feel bad taunting him like that, but Shade doesn't. I watch as his callous hands yank my hood down. He drops me to the ground and I land with a grunt. Shuddering he steps back in fear. I just sit there, bloody gruesome smile still attached firmly in place. "See you're not alone flash boy! Daddy hurt me to!" I Laugh again this time more manically. The blood spills out further, spreading along the scars around my mouth. The criminals didn't know how to save my face, so they sewed it up in messy stitches. They left more marks around the sick grin. My eyes probably don't help KFs nerves; they have plain black contacts. Making me look like the demon I am.

"Y-you're just a kid." I wish. "Maybe physically, but I've seen much more in my young life that most adults." He stares at me more intently, then sits at the table as I clamber up on the cold seat. Using the metal handcuffs to haul me up to the chair. "Why?" I look at my bleeding wrist and scratched metal. Sure wish I had my lock picking kit…. "Why do you do what you do?" Wally seems thoughtful then we lock eyes "To save people" I feel a tear escaping my eye, it slowly drops of my thinning face. It lost all it's baby fat only last year. Took long enough. Wally's head stays looking at the desk "Then there's your answer." Wally's head snaps up "What do you mean-" I'm gone from the seat. He looks around frantically. It's stupid, why do they never think to check under the table? "Shit!" He punches the wall. I wince, Richard must be worried he broke it. Not shade though, shade can't worry. Man these lines are blurring "I just needed to know his name!"

BANG. The door is blown open and I smirk, took then]m long enough. I dart out into the hall way, not before leaving a couple of small bombs under the table. I look back into the room. Wally looks shocked. "The names sh-" I press the detonator. He wouldn't have heard what I said. I Run, ignoring my old friends screams of agony. I Jump through the zeta. I barely have time to hear it announce my departure when the control panel short circuits. It gets to B0- and stops. That was close. Too close. But who the hell saved me?

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><p>"Get up kid." No it can't be. I push myself of the grime covered pavement. Looking up. "Selina?" The woman steps backwards. "How do you know my name?" I look away, she doesn't even recognise me. Why should she? I'm dead. I need to hug her. I want my mum. Launching myself at her I start to cry. She stumbles back, uncertainly wrapping her arms around me. I'm The same height as her in her heels now. "Mama te rog nu pleca, Te rog să recunoască mă, îmi pare rău"<strong> (Mum please do not go, Please recognise me, I am so sorry)<strong>. The words come out in a rush and I feel her tense the pull away slightly. "Dickie?" Her voice is uncertain. Until I nod, ripping out the black contacts revealing my bright blue eyes. They seem to be the only proof she needs. "Oh My God" She starts stroking my hair, I can feel her head on mine. Wet tears soaking through my onyx locks. "It's okay baby, it's okay, mamas here now, your safe." After a while she pulls back looking me dead in the eyes. "Everyone thought you were dead!" I just rest my head on her shoulder. Body Shaking violently. "I had to! I knew the war was coming, I had to get in on the inside." It's Selina's turn to break down. She collapses onto me, crying like any mother who thought she lost her child would. "It's okay 'lina, I'm not hurt…for the most part." That's when she notices the metal pressed against her and she practically screams, as if it the sight of my arm was piercing her heart. "Oh baby there had to be a better way- " Then she looks at my face. Shaking, she reaches out to touch it. She shakes and cries more. She puts her hand to her own mouth then sobs in anguish. "My Baby boy…what did the do to you!" I reach up and hold her hand. "It was for the job."

I Jump up onto a dumpster lid, she does the same. Gently she pulls me down so my head is resting on her chest. "I never expected my job to help me find the dead hero." I smirk "What was the job anyway?" She runs a hand across my cheek "To get in on my Zeta pass and rescue the injustice leagues missing weapon- Hold on wait what am I doing? I need to tell Bruce and the league that you're alive!" My head launches up "No!" "Why not?!" I hold her hands in my own metal and human one. "If you do millions of people will die! All because of me!" She looks sad "you already killed someone Kitten" That's news to me "What?! How?!" A fresh tear cascades down her cheek from under the black leather mask. "When you died, Bruce changed…There was a boy. He tried stealing the wheels off the batmobile, when Bruce asked 'why' the kid told him he was dying on the street. Bruce told the boy to go, saying he couldn't be trusted to help another child in need. 2 weeks later the boy -Jason- died, it was malnutrition." I start crying but I am silent. "I'm sorry but…If I stay millions will be saved!" She smiles. "Just do what you feel right" I cry more but it turns to small shaky sobs as Selina rocks me . "You know, I went in your room when you died and discovered Teddy was missing…" She smirks and I join her. Then I ask something no 16-year-old ever should. "Come back to base…tuck me in" She just cries happily. "Anything Kitten"

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><p><strong>AN: THANKS SO MUCH GUYS! This chapter got deep, but I enjoyed writing it :) **

**I know Robin speaks Romani, but I had to use Romanian. Thank Google translate for the dodgy translation.**

**TO ALL STARKIDS: Does Joey remind you of Wally when he's wrong or is it Just me?**

**Thanks for reading**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

**Thanks again **

**DixieG xxx**


	6. Learning

"What the fuck did you think you were doing!" I feel the foot connect with my side. "Please Laurence stop!" My pleading voice doesn't deter him. It hits again . "If we hadn't sent Catwoman in to save you, you would have given it away. The Joker would have killed you!" Then the pummelling stops. "Laurence if you keep going like this YOU will kill him!" I manage to get up on all fours, gooey blood dripping off my face and on to the now moist floor. My breathings laboured, but it's because of who it was hitting me, not pain. He doesn't hit me - He just doesn't, and especially not like this. He's only once smacked me and that was back when he first found me. "Yes Laurence Catwoman's right leave him. We need him." I struggle to pay attention as my metal arm snaps in half below me, I fall face first into the grime covered floor. However, I do hear footsteps slowly coming towards me. I try to get back up onto all fours…threes. A hand pushes my head back down "Down boy." My head makes contact with the ground again. I turn over as my good old uncle J steps over me. "He's our secret weapon." Weapon? I swear to God I'm a person. "He's just given us a reason to declare war on the Justice League." War? Oh God yeah. "Who says flash boy didn't hit him?" I try getting up again but this time Catwoman catches me. I rest my head on her chest as she kneels behind me. "No one will fall for it." The Jokers grim smile comes down to our level. "Oh but Selina, he turned the cameras off. After all, the junior justice league aren't supposed to interrogate prisoners". Filthy hands reach towards me, I resist the urge to flinch away as they run through my hair. "They don't need to know we've been planning this for years." The three share a look of sick pleasure. Then Joker gazes down at me with a look that's almost father-like. "It's okay shade, we'll get that big bad hero for hurting you."

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><p><em>Mount Justice<em>

_Half an hour earlier_

_Wally POV_

B0….the zeta said B0, only Young Justice members have a B0 pass-code. It went off when that kid left, so who the hell is he? Damn it, I still didn't get his name. Running a hand through my fiery red hair I get an idea. From here I can access basic criminal information, that should be enough…right? I go to the search bar on the huge ass computer. **Search: Criminals - SH. **The first result is there. It's him. All the page says is the boy's name "Shade". There isn't even a picture, but it's the only criminal beginning with the letters SH so it's got to be him. I go to click on it but it's blocked **Result Classified- contacting league member** Shit.I reckon I have two minutes to access it before someone gets here. Robin would know how to…no he's dead. He has been for years. My baby brother. My stupid, annoying, fun, midget, adorable, smart baby brother. _"Gosh Robin how do you do that?" The 10 year old jumps into my arms and I rest him gently on my hip. He's managed to gain a stone but he's still underweight. "I did it before I came to the light." Confusion flickers across my face almost like a brief reflection on calm water. "Come into the light? What does that mean Rob" __**Announcing Arrival - Batman A02. **_The big black bat paces towards me, his covered features drawing closer. "Where did you get that name?" Why the hell is he here? Why not uncle B? "Bats I've got no clue what you're on about" A black hand grabs me slinging me into a rocky wall. The next thing I know is the feeling of granite in my back. "Then I'll ask again" I feel the bat shake me with every slicing word. "Where. Did. You. Hear. That. Name?!" I give in and answer, eyes scrunched up"TherewasaguywhowasstealingandwegothimandIinterrogatedhimhegotoutandthat'swhythewatchtowerexplodedbutthezetanamedhimasaB0numbersohe'soneoftheteamsosomeone'sbetrayingusPLEASEDON'THURTME" He lets me go. What the hell? He then looks at me shocked. "You're lying!" He raises a fist. "I'm not! I swear to god!" Then he goes slack, standing next to me he slides down the wall. "Sit down Wally" I do as told. I mean would you disobey the Batman? Then he does the unexpected. He takes his mask off, what is Bruce doing! "He's dead" He's crying. "My Baby" He's crying. "Why would he have done this." Done what? Bats notices my questioning gaze, he stops and sighs "you need to learn the truth" The truth? "I thought Shade was gone" I lean against my 'uncle'. He places an arm around me. "He died when he was a child….Wally Shade was- _is_ Ro-" _**"Good Evening Justice league" **_The Jokers grim smile is on the screen in front of us. Bats looks on his wrist computer then looks to me "It's broadcasting to every league computer" **"That's right bats, all of you are seeing this. After all, you need to know who to blame" **Me and Batman share a confused look. Blame? **"This is our son-" **It's the kid! The joker just showed us the Kid from earlier. But why? What the hell, why is Batman Shaking? **"-I got home today and found him broken and bleeding. See this metal arm? Snapped. So like any surrogate father I asked what happened. Do you know what happened? He was taken by a Justice baby and beat for information. So well done flash boy**!" Bruce's head snaps towards me "he's lying!" The jokers face comes towards the camera and I can't help but stare as he smiles. **"You just started a war**" The camera goes dead. I expect Bruce to shout but he doesn't instead he smiles. "He's alive."

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><p><strong>AN: So memoirs is now a trilogy. Theres gonna be one more story after this. **

**Please Review, I know I won't get as many for this as memoirs, but they REALLY make me smile.**

**Thank you**

**Dixiegrayson xx **


	7. Marching

_1st December 2015_

Shade….He's robin. You know at first I couldn't believe it. No - couldn't isn't the right word - Wouldn't is so much more appropriate. When Batman told me I pushed him off, shouting at him for telling me that Robin - my baby brother - was a murdering psychopath. A criminal. The very thing I sling in a rotten jail cell every day. I marched home fuming at the man, mind saturated with pure hatred. Then I started thinking.

Even when we were little Robin was different to the other heroes. I always put it down to his age and the fact that he was the first partner. However, the more I thought back the more I realised what was different about him. He was never afraid to make a rough decision. Hell there were times when I thought he wanted to kill some poor son of a bitch. I never thought he was capable of it though.

I was wrong.

So here I am with my feet pounding bellow me like the drums of war, Pushing me into the battle field that was once Gotham high street. It's a big main road, closed off to stop civilians getting hurt. By the end of this night it will be a tarmac cemetery - and it's all my fault.

* * *

><p><em>Shade P.O.V<em>

So here we are. This is what it's all been building to, ever since I ran away. The war is here and im right smack bang in the middle of it. I'm not gonna lie, I'm shit scared. With the weight of the gun in my pocket and the world on my shoulders I begin to question my decisions.

_"Daddy put me down!" The sun shines above and down onto daddy's face as he lifts me in the air. He tells me I can fly - Like superman. The leaves rustle in the trees and scrunch beneath my feet as we play. "No can do Kiddo!" We keep going for hours, laughing like hyenas until a cavernous yawn escapes my mouth. Bruce lowers me to the ground and uses his thumb to whipe the weird gritty stuff from my eye. "Come on chum, I think it's time to go home" Shaking my head I drop to my bottom, small hands being absorbed by the crunch leaves. "No. I don't wanna." I rub my hand with my fist (which is almost completely covered by my huge red hoodie) "Tell you what Dick, we can go home and I can read you a story and you can have a mug of Alfred's hot chocolate OR we can stay here and play." My head swivels from the forest to the manor and back as tears swell up in my eyes. "But Bruce I don't know! It's t-t-too hard!" As I break out into full blown sobs Bruce rubs circles on my fuzzy robin-red back. "That's life Dickie, you have to make some tough decisions but I'm sure you will always make the right one."_

God if only that were true. I feel the gritty road beneath my worn out converse, the silent road echoes every creak of my newly fixed arm - but perhaps the most unrelenting pain is caused by the heroes eyes reflecting with fear into my own as our two army's line up facing each other.

"Stand down Joker" I look away as Bruce talks, I feel his eyes wander off Uncle J and onto me. His masked eyes hold so many emotions - grief, fear, disgust but perhaps most shockingly, love.

"And miss out on the match of a life time, WHERES THE FUN IN THAT!" As maniacal laughter escapes his cut lips all the heroes take a small step back. On instinct so does all of my side, only me and lawrence are left next to the clown as he shouts the deadly words "Fire at will guys! Go nuts!"

If this goes wrong everyone I know and love will die - and its all my fault.

I keep my cocky smirk plastered firmly on my face as I glance up black eyes glinting in the moon light. They lock onto the big bad bat as the shadow lifts and reveals the lower half of my face. "Bring it on Bitches"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I AM SO SO SORRY! It's been ages and this chapters so short and kinda shitty. But I've had exams and writers block and a new fandom and so much other stuff happening in my life. I promise the fic will get better.**

**Please review but don't flame to hard :)**

**Thanks**

**Dixie G x**


	8. Sacrificing

**A/N: For a more emotional chapter please listen to 'THE CALL by REGINA SPEKTOR'. However, if crying isn't on the agenda, go on without it. **

How did my life ever come to this - Running to war. I was a good person, raised in a nice life. HOW DID IT COME TO THIS! This is my fault. It's all my fault. IT'S ALL MY FAULT!

My internal battle is stunted by a sickening laughter. His voice is cracked and rough, yet somehow still hysterical and intense. "Let the games begin" and that was that, three small simple words that marked the end of my life. That marked the time when my last shred of humanity finally left me. The battle begins.

Bullets are being fired and blood curdling screams surround me, I watch as shards of metal embed themselves in my old team mates. I hold up my steel alloy arm, praying that it will offer some form of protection. But why should it matter if it doesn't. Nobody loves me. I don't deserve to live. I don't want to live. I see M'gann she's older, got shorter hair too, and Connor, he's already lost his shirt. Kaldur looks as calculating as ever and there's these three new girls, one looks kinda like uncle Oli- green arrow.

Another explosion to my right, a horribly familiar yell fills my ears. I look towards the noise and instantly regret the action. "Wally pass me your hand" Please save him Roy. As I watch my brothers flesh tear I flinch. I want to help, oh God I want to help, but I can't show my hand. Not yet. I turn away unable to watch, I can still hear the action. "Roy look out!" KFs desperate cry is followed by a gunshot…then silence from my brothers I wish I hadn't opened my dark lashes. I wish I wasn't here. I wish they would kill me already.

Although….that's a lie. I don't want to die. PLEASE LORD I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I feel hot tears trickling onto my cheeks, its warm and sticky like the blood of those I have betrayed. Looking up through guilt blurred eyes I see Roy's quiver and more importantly I see what's sticking out from it. There's a photo of a baby girl. With shaking hands I turn it over reading the back _'Lian Harper'. _Roy was a dad, he'd got over me and made a life for himself. I try to whipe a tear away, turning round I see two bodies on the floor, Roy and Cheshire….their hands are clasped together.

I'm a monster. I became everything I've always hated. I have orphaned a child and become the same bastard that destroyed my own life. I'm just like Tony Zucco.

Then it hits me. Literally. the pain is hard and fast, a metal object slamming into my hood, and through to my skull. Hissing in pain I spin around whipping a gun out of my waist band. I rest my finger on the trigger ready to fire in the same fluid movement, but at the last minute I manage to gain control over my wayward appendage as my eyes connect with my victim. My saviour...my daddy. I put on my fake smirk, holding my arm steady "You know, that kind of hurt" I let the tears drop off my firm jaw, falling to the ground like the miserable rain. "Richard. Please put the gun down" I laugh almost hysterically, twisted scars making Bruce flinch. He finds them as repulsive as I do. "Richard? Who's that I'm shade." He puts his arms up as if to surrender "Please buddy, put it down. I'm begging. You may be hiding behind shade but I need my son back" I slam my arms down laughing louder, eyes becoming red and swollen. My whole frame shudders with self-loathing.

I see the truck behind a street corner. There it is. I'm the only one who could escape unnoticed and drive it off. There's a time. My briefing was to take the bomb to the middle of the city. The only people to escape are us. Our watches tell us when to dump into the sewer, we will be protected from the blast. I need to grab it and take the bomb somewhere safe. So I distract Bruce the only way I know how.

I collapse to my knees crying and he runs over. As Bruce slides down next to me I grab onto his cape. "p-please. p-please" Tugging my rucksack from behind me I open it. "Please what buddy?" He pulls my head down, running a callous hand through my hair. It is in this moment I pass him Teddy "please forgive me" Batman looks confused, but Bruce looks devastated as I pull out my old gun, I use the handle to throttle him -knocking him out cold.

I run to the truck, hopping in and turning the keys in the ignition. I put my foot down, instantly going in the wrong way. I drive off to the place where it all began. To that same cliff I jumped off all those years ago. There is only one way to dispose of this bomb.

I keep driving towards the water.

_I was never a hero, I was always a villain. _

A single tear trickles down my face

_I was always a fake. _

I managed to save them. My life has meaning

_I was always a shade. _

My name is Richard Grayson and this is me dying

**A/N: I am so sorry this has taken so long, I am now doing my A-levels and its pretty time consuming. However, this is no excuse so please accept my apologies.**

**Anyway, this is the second to last chapter in this, the second book of the trilogy. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! As ever, I have no problem with constructive criticism but please be gentle I am fragile!**

**THANK YOU!**

**Dixie xxx **


	9. Fading

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The heart monitor to my right keeps a slow beat. The electronic drawl has been getting slower all throughout the night. It's metallic rhythm is no longer bright and cheerful, instead it has become the sound of dying hope. That was his life story though wasn't it. I reach out and grab my little boys hand. His cold appendage rests limply within my palm. I run my free hand through his surprisingly soft hair. It's just like I remember it, baby soft, running into tangled points at the tips. My hand moves slowly down to his cheek, running my thumb along his hideous scars. Despite the way the ruin his thinned face, I can still see my son resting just beneath them. He's grown, well obviously I haven't seen him in years-

I pause in my reminiscing upon spotting the tatty old ruck sack next to his clinically clean hospital bed. Picking it up I open the zip with shaky hands, it's been so many years since I've seen this old thing. He must of dropped it jumping out that van…..

* * *

><p><em>The truck draws nearer the cliff. I have one chance. Pulling out my ruck sack I get ready. Placing the truck into cruise control I climb through the small window back to the bomb. Gently I slide around it. The doors fling open, smashing backwards and I stand on the back rim. Swinging down with my rucksack behind my back ,I take out my specially measured length of batrope. I tie one end to the bumper and prepare my next step at the edge of the oh so familiar edge of the world.<em>

_10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…GO!_

_I fire the grapple into the ground then roll out of the speeding truck. 30 seconds._

_I take off running, I have 30 seconds to get off the cliff and onto solid ground._

_20 Seconds. Shit im not going to make it! _

_10…9…8…7..6…_

_I won't make it. I throw my ruck sack as far as I can, praying that Bruce will get it. _

_5…4…3..2…1…._

_The truck swings down in to the hole I created all them years ago. I thought the cliff would absorb the shock. I was wrong, instead it just disintegrates towards me and I fall._

_I fall like they fell._

* * *

><p>I look to the floor and there, sitting upright against the bed Is teddy. Mangy old thing isn't he. One eye missing and one ear torn, barely any fur. Yet he was part of Dickie…never left the house without his best friend, his only friend real- hello….what's that? I see it out of the corner of my eye in the barely open bag, I pull out the piece of paper nestled in the folds. An envelope? Turning it over I read the name - Bruce. I look at Dicks hauntingly lifeless features in surprise. Slowly I open it, unfolding the piece of paper inside.<p>

_Dear Bruce_

_If you're reading this then im dead (don't worry there won't be that many more clichés). So I'm guessing you want to know what happened and before you read even further I want you to know I'm sorry. _

**The tall figure looks down at his boy then at the life support.**

_I want to say thank you. You raised me, you taught me to be a hero, but I think we both know I was faking it. I've always been a villain. _

**He knows what's going to happen, what he's going to be asked to do.**

_I know you too well Bruce, you're keeping me alive but if im honest….I'd rather be dead. I knew this was a suicide mission and really, I've been looking forward to it. Don't feel sad; I'm fine. Please…just don't spend the rest of your life in mourning._

**The dark figure looks down at the plugs and shakes his head, he can't kill his son…he just can't.**

_And Bruce, I'm not asking you - I'm telling you. Let me go._

**The play boy sheds a small tear and a watery smile. **

_Stop trapping yourself in this never ending loop. Waiting for me to come back and not being able to live. Be the playboy you were before me. Shag a few girls, get drunk and most of all LIVE._

**He's made his decision**

_Go discover the world, find a wife, a real kid….not just some criminal freak._

**He leans down**

_and maybe learn what It's like to smile every now and again_

**His callous hand recoils back from the plug and he bites his finger, tears streaming down his face.**

_Im marching into a new battle now. But this time I choose the terms and I will win._

**He takes one last look at the rise and fall of his sons chest**

_This is one sacrifice im willing to make._

**And then he pulls the plug and rises. He runs a hand through his sons hair and kisses him on the forehead. "You won buddy….you won". The dark figure of Batman….no, Bruce Wayne stands in the doorway watching as the breathing slows. "Daddy, can we go home" he spins around to find his youngest waiting for him. He glances one last time at his little bird "Yes Tim, it's time to go home". The child approaches his dad "Who was he Daddy?". The father sheds a tear looking down at his side and putting an arm around his shoulder. As they walk off into the distance his story his heard "His name was Richard Grayson. He was and always is….a hero….."**

**The duo continue. Later they will get home and they will tell Alfred the news where upon he will retire to the kitchen and cry. He wonders how the lad could have come to such a dark and twisted end. How he could of changed so much from the little boy they knew and loved…..until he sees the paper on the counter. He reads through it, slowly stopping his tears and then on the last line he will see one sentence that makes him smile and gently place the note down**

_From your very sorry, ever-loving son_

_Dickie_

**Sadly that event is in the future and what is happening now can never be undone.**

**Alone in his room the heart monitor slows to a monotonous cry. The light in his vivid blue eyes fades to a dull grey and the bear falls from his cold hand. Our hero takes his final breath and says farewell to his miserable tale. Although it may help readers to know that his last thought was "Well, It hasn't been a terrible life" complete with a final cocky smirk.**

**With the end of his story, comes the end of ours. He will not be forgotten, for these scrawled notes of chapters are his memoirs - **

**The Memoirs of a Thief **


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